Month 3 Results - It's true!!!!!!

Well, it's true what they say...
1. Muscle weighs more than fat, weight may stay flat or go up
2. When gaining muscle, inches show progress not pounds
3. Being fit is a lifestyle change not a diet

At month three (the end of December) I weighed in at 155 lbs. Only 3 pounds from my starting weight of 158 pounds. Needless to say, I was frustrated beyond words. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?

If you recall, I ballooned up during Thanksgiving week weighing in at a whopping 165 pounds. Now that might not seem like much considering my height, (5ft 11in) but I normally require several weeks of poor eating or a pregnancy to get into the 160's. So I'm a bit frightened. I know that the average person gains 5-7 pounds during Thanksgiving…. But I only ate badly for TWO DAYS!!!!! And I can guarantee you that I didn’t eat 28,000 extra calories which is what I would have needed to gain 8 pounds. Granted, some of the weight was water, but it is clear that my body is reacting differently to sugar and fat since I’ve taken on this challenge.

So for better or for worse, there's no turning back now.

On the upside, if we count the Holiday binge, (don't judge me) my GROSS loss is actually 10 pounds!!! At this juncture, I’ll take any positives I can find. :)

I also have seen incredible changes in my body. I’m nowhere near bodybuilder status, but can see and feel the muscle taking shape. Over the holidays, I was wrapping gifts with my sister Heather and in mid-sentence I stopped talking. Why?…I noticed cuts in my arm and shoulder. I stopped to marvel at the newly formed muscle and rubbed my hand over it. For the first time, I could see and feel the ridges in my solid shoulders and arm. Nice!!!! You should have seen her face! Priceless. Lol!

It may seem vain, but I understand why bodybuilders spend so much time in the mirror. They are literally marveling at their work. You eat clean, exercise with intense weight lifting and cardio and BAM!!!….the body is sculpted. It’s amazing. Now when I stop increasing muscle and the fat comes off…..oh boy…! That will be something to see.

I must add however, that my husband and kids are tired of being invited to the show. It goes a little something like this…

“Hey, you guys want to go to a show?”

“What show?”

I pull back my shirt, flex my arms…

“The GUN SHOW!!!!! FIRE POWER!!!!”

Lol!! I think it’s hilarious. But obviously I’ve had to get more creative. My new entries are….

“I know what we can do today. Let’s go to the GUN SHOW!!!”
“Are you bored? We can go to the GUN SHOW!!!”
“What’s for dinner? Why don’t we eat at the GUN SHOW!!!

I’ve got a million of ‘em…

I should probably take a moment to share that I have not missed any workouts and have been diligent about my cardio. I most often double the required time which may be a problem. (45 minutes to 90 minutes) Lanell is concerned that when it comes time to lean out for the figure competition (drop fat) my body won’t be able to release without 3+ hours of cardio per day. Now I finally understand why I end up needing so much cardio before a pageant. My body is immune to it. I LOVE cardio. Step Classes, elliptical machine, you name it. I can run up to 2 hours at a time with no problem then come back for more in the evening.

Lanell has reduced me to 30 minutes of interval cardio every other day. That’s a warm up in my world!!!! My interval sessions = alternating high speed and/or resistance for 1 minute, low speed and/or resistance 2 minutes. This month, I reversed the segments by performing intensely for 2 minutes alternating 1 minute low cardio.

I don’t know how I’m going to deal. All of my coping mechanisms have been restricted. No wine, no sugar, no comfort food AND now little to no cardio?!!?? Watch out!!! You won’t want to be around me for long. :) I suppose I still have my weight training and Bikram yoga which burns 600 + calories per session and leaves me with a sense of calm that only heavy cardio or meditation can bring. We shall see.

Stats below.

So to summarize, I've lost 3 pounds, 3.2 inches and 2.4% body fat. I'm losing fat and building muscle.

I wonder what I would have weighed had I not had the Thanksgiving setback? Sigh…. Oh well.

Woops, almost forgot my new years resolution to be kind to myself. :)

I ROCK!!! Lol!! And so does my Trainer!!! Bring on the competition!!!

My Training Regimen

Weight Training....sigh....

Lanell believes that I will grow to love weight training. Not likely. In our session yesterday, I was forced to break out my old Lamaze breathing to make it through. I was literally transported back to the birth of my fourth child, who is now 7!!

Picture it...fourth child. I got this. I know what I need and when I need it. No more natural child birth for me. I was determined that my last birthing experience would be comfortable and pleasant. I imagined myself crying with joy as I held this precious little baby in my arms only seconds after birth rather than frustrated, wounded and frightened out of my mind as with my first three pregnancies.

1. My first, was 48 hours of labor with no pain killers and she was a premie; and just over 3lbs ...very scary.
2. My second was also natural, but I hemorraged and had an emergency c-section. She was full term but also under 4 lbs. Again, scary.
3. The third came fast and furious with no time for an epidural and he had the umbilical cord around his neck causing his heart rate to drop. ugh...

So....This time, I was ready. I was showered, shampooed and shining. The baby was healthy. I knew my body and when I was ready to deliver.

I get to the hospital. First thing out of my mouth.... I want my epidural now.

"Maam, you're not ready for an epidural. As a matter of fact, you aren't ready to deliver."

"This is my fourth child," I pleaded "Trust me when I say this will be fast and I need to get checked in and an epidural administered QUICKLY."

So what do you think happened?

She sent me home.

Well, she tried to send me home. I have never been so furious. My husband also knew better, so we stayed on hospital grounds. Within 30 minutes the contractions were unbearably hard and close together. We convince the nurse to check me again. She had the nerve to roll her eyes.

Then, just as I was getting onto the bed, my water breaks. She checks me and sure enough I'm almost fully dilated.

"Damn Damn Damn!!!"

"I need my epidural now!!"

"Maam it's too late for an epidural."

As God is my witness, if I had not been in so much pain, I might have actually wrung that woman's neck. In any case, the next 20-30 minutes were a blurr of pain, breathing and cries for mercy. Eventually, I left my body and spent the last 10 minutes or so viewing the process from my imaginary hot tub while sipping on a Manhattan.

Yes, I left my body. I continued the breathing and was conscious of my sister's coaching and my husband rubbing the tennis ball on my lower back. I could also hear everything that was happening around me. Especially the nurses commenting in amazement that I had not had a break between contractions for over 15 minutes.

Most consecutive contractions with no relief is not a record that I would choose to break with no epidural.

In case you haven't noticed, you have not seen any :), lol! or lolcc!

Why?

Because it's NOT funny.

Okay, that made me laugh. lol!

Needless to say, I came back to my body to push. Bryan II was born. Love him of course, but darn it. That was not cool. Each time it's taken me a good 5-10 minutes to get that "awwwwwwhhhh, my baby" feeling. I look, see that the baby is healthy then I just need a moment to myself. lol!

Weight training, for me, is just like having a baby without an epidural. There's the Lamaze breathing, the praying and begging for mercy. And there isn't even the immediate reward of a precious little baby. And the worst part? Can't leave the body. I've tried. Gotta focus or I'll hurt myself.

Upside: In the long run, you'll feel good, live longer and get the body you want in ... what...6 months to a year... sigh...

Sidebar: You must be wondering if I can ever blog without telling a story. I'm beginning to think not. :)


BACK TO TRAINING!!!!


My training regimen consists of 4 days of weight training and 6 days of cardio.

WEIGHTS

I work out three days with Lanell and one day on my own. We start with a 10-15 minute cardio warm up and then alternate as follows.

• Back
• Legs
• Arms
• Shoulders
• Legs
• Chest

Each day includes core. It may be actual ab work or exercises using the stability ball, bosu or other tools/positions to engage the core. Although she denies it, my legs are also worked each time as well.

Who does rowing in a squat position and calls it back?! It's legs too! Ask my poor sore behind!!

Again, NOT funny.

CARDIO

Cardio consists of 45 minutes on the elliptical machine at level 7 as follows

• 5 minute warm up
• 30 minutes (1 minute at 7mph or greater 2 minutes at 4mph or under)
• 5 minute cool down

STRETCHING

Of course stretching is mandatory after each session in the morning and at night due to my injuries. I also attend Bikram yoga classes 2-4 days per week. Goal is 4. Not only does it burn major calories while stretching and toning the body, but it is an additional stress reliever and considered an "active" meditation. LOVE IT!!!

Okay, there you are. Welcome to my world. :)

BREAKING NEWS.... It's not what I'm eating...It's WHAT'S EATING ME!!

Happy New Year!


Long time no post...I know...I know.... I have had quite the Holiday Season. :)


I've actually experienced a bit of a block when it came to blogging. Each time I sat down to write, it just didn't feel authentic due to the challenges I was facing. As much as I wanted this to be a light, fun, not saving the world kind of forum... I had a period that made it impossible to continue without sharing a bit of unpleasant information that had directly impacted my progress.


Now that I've had an opportunity to digest my holiday happenings, I feel it's time to let it out. So brace yourself...here we go...


As you may know, I am in the process of writing a book which is an expansion of the motivational speech that I deliver. I vary which life stories I include based upon the audience, but take the listener through my humorous pageantry journey with the insecurities that I faced punctuated by the unfortunate circumstances of my childhood and young adulthood. It's quite a roller coaster ride with audiences rolling with laughter, then crying, laughing, crying...they are emotionally spent by the end of the 20-40 minutes...as am I.


Now giving snippets of rough patches in ones life is one thing. To spend hours upon hours, recreating a scene designed to transport the reader into the story is another. Now don't get me wrong, I've been working through many of these issues my entire life. However, it wasn't until I began competing in pageants that I truly got to the heart of many blockages. In order to be a successful competitor, (In my opinion) you must be the best you that you can be. In order to be the best you that you can be, you must first know who you are. In order to know who you are, you must take a good long look at what drives you, your hopes and dreams, what makes you unique and why you are worthy to represent married women of our State and hopefully, our Nation.


I once believed that the swimsuit was the toughest part of competition. I had no idea what lurked behind that fear until I addressed it head on. Then came feelings of unworthiness in evening gown and so on.... I spent years working through issues that I thought were dealt with. Little did I know, I had only brushed the surface. Long story short, over the last 5 or so years, I have learned to not only accept my circumstances and acknowledge how I grew because of them, but to forgive those who played a part.


Sidebar: Without going into too much detail.... background includes, growing up watching mother beaten, being orhpaned at 12, living in poverty in a middle class community, being the only African American in my elementary school and one of 3 in my high school which resulted in being told consistently that I would be nothing. (You'd have thought the N word was my name had you not known me.) Being sexually assaulted which resulted in a pregnancy at 16, the child was lost due to contracting mono from the perpetrator. Marrying an abuser..... The list goes on....


I no longer hold any animosity toward anyone and refused to allow my circumstances to negatively impact who I would become. The experiences actually helped to shape a witty (laugh instead of cry), driven (I'll show you), empathetic (I've been there) and capable (look at what I can do) woman. So you're probably wondering what happened over the holidays to sidetrack such a champion? :)


It's extremely difficult to get into the deep writing during scheduled periods of time and then head to a meeting or help the kids with homework. :) It doesn't quite work that way. So, I attended a writer's weekend with Best Selling Author, Editor and all-around writing goddess Jennifer Sander in Tahoe the weekend before Thanksgiving. All went well. I completed quite a bit of work and was on a mission to get the book completed by the end of the year.


Again, you're probably wondering....What happened!!!!


Okay, I get home. I'm feeling funky. As time passes I'm feeling even worse. Tired, listless, unmotivated. Then, my body began to react. I was not focused and twisted my ankle during a step class. Old abuse injuries (Jaw and shoulder) began to flair up. My back injury kicked in as well. I couldn't figure out what was wrong. Then, Thanksgiving hit and I gained 8 pounds over 2-3 days. I ate and ate and ate and then I ate some more.


By the time I saw Lanell for training, I had dropped a few pounds but was still 5 or so up.

I explained what I had been feeling and she pulled out good old Bob. (pictured below during a happer session) Needless to say, Bob took the beating of his existence that day which ended with me sobbing uncontrollably on Lanell's shoulder.

Now don't expect that your trainer will provide this service. Counselor is normally not a part of the job. :) Although there is a bit of psychology involved in why people hold onto weight. Fortunately for me, Lanell was intuitive enough to know I needed to let it out and provided a safe environment for me to do so.

After a good cry and then laugh, Lanell cracked a few funnies to lighten the mood, I had released enough to move forward. The next few weeks, I worked hard to drop the remaining pounds before Christmas but knew I needed to figure out what had caused the episode.


Then it hit me. I had forgiven everyone who had ever so much as looked at me funny, but I hadn't forgiving the most important person.... Me.


I blamed myself, for not standing up for my mother when she was abused, for not being a better sister to my younger siblings, for not fighting harder when I was assaulted, for not getting better grades in school, for marrying an abuser, for allowing myself to be beaten and mistreated and misused and so on. I never gave myself a break. Nothing was ever good enough. If I had been stronger, smarter....better.....perhaps my circumstances would have been different.


So where on earth did all of this come from? I have no idea, but hopefully, it was the final piece in a very dysfunctional puzzle. The good news is, that once I realized what was "eating me" I had much better control over what I was eating. Now granted, I know that it's completely irrational to hold onto this self induced guilt, but it will take time to fully release it as it took time to forgive everyone else. The good news is, I've begun the process and feel lighter and happier than ever before. There is a sense of peace in my heart that I have never experienced. :) Let's hope it stays that way for a while... I could use a well deserved break!!!!


I hope that this has been helpful to some of you. It was not an easy thing to share in this forum, but I trust that if I was compelled to write it, someone needed to read it.


Again, Happy Happy Happy Happy New Year to All!!