Q&A May!

Hello Strangers!!!

It's been so long since I've written that I thought I'd start with a question and answer post to respond to the inquiries I've been receiving over the past months. So here goes.....

Are you still working out?! What's up?

Yes. Lanell is working me out three days a week at Fitness Together and I do a full body work out alone once a week. The good news is...I'm finally at the lean out stage of my program which means....heavy cardio to reduce the body fat. YES!!! I didn't realize how much I depended on cardio until it was taken away. Well....she didn't really take it away, but it was so low it might as well have been in my world.

How are you dealing with the temptations? It seemed to be your biggest challenge during the first few months?

Well, the sugar monkey is definitely on my back. Lol! Although I remain on a clean and low carb diet most of the time, when I go off.....It isn't pretty. (clean = unprocessed foods)

I remember in February when I was feeling confident about the low carb diet. My cravings had disappeared and I no longer talked to donuts or other pastry. Lol! Lanell warned me..
"Don't get too comfortable. If you have sugar, you'll be Jonesin."

Whatever. I knew what I was doing. After all, I had taken my kids to the donut shop, watched them eat and had absolutely no interest.

Well needless to say....at my son's birthday party, I decided to have a bite of my husband's cake. My motives were purely professional. Lol! I just wanted to make sure it was good. If it wasn't, what would I have done you may ask? Nothin'. But that's beside the point. Lol!

OMG!! The rest of the day was a torrid love affair with any and all sugar that I could get my hands on. I even made my husband stop at the drugstore on the way home under the pretense of purchasing Atkins bars. Under the bars I hid a mega size good and plenty.

"Come to Mama!"

Jonesin was and understatement. I ate and ate and ate and ate. It was absolutely terrible. But oh so good. Lol!

So what were the ramifications of that binge? Of course I felt ill. But what surprised me was the swelling!!!! My entire body was swollen so badly that my ring which was coming off in the shower due to my weight loss had become a tourniquet, cutting off all circulation to my finger!! Then my eyes began to swell. Normally my eyes swell during allergy season or when I've been around too much dust. It was absolutely awful.

Do you think I learned my lesson? Nope. Got back on track and then did it again about a month later!!! But the next time was a complete accident. I had cut my Quaker oatmeal out of my diet but needed a little extra pick me up one morning before the gym and it spiked my blood sugar causing massive cravings. I was Jonesin again!! Geez!!

So, what's the moral? Don't know. It must be balance. Too few carbs in the body for a long period of time doesn't work for me. I had to increase my carbs from under net 50 to around net 100 per day. (net carbs = carb - fiber.) The cravings are back, but I'm in touch enough to know it's not worth it. Well...most of the time. :)

What figure competition are going to and when?

I had planned to compete in a competition in April, but didn't for three reasons.

1. My body was far from ready. Figure competitions are nothing like pageant swimsuit competitions. Mrs. Pageant Swimsuit, allows for a larger bottom panel which can be used to hold up excess booty if needed using butt glue, masking tape or by whatever means necessary. :) The figure costumes are merely pieces of material covering my 'business'. Far from functional in my opinion. It's not completely useless for the breasts as you can pad and add support. But for us pear shaped women....No mercy. :)
2. The competition in April was not a natural competition. Which means that steroids and other chemicals can be used by competitors which increases muscle size etc...
3. I've learned that I need to focus on being a bikini competitor rather than a figure competitor. Bikini is more of a swimsuit model body. lean, tone symmetrical rather than cut and vascular.

So to sum it all up...I just wasn't ready. :) I'm looking at a local natural figure competition with bikini on June 12 but again...I don't know if I'll be ready enough aka.... no jiggle. I'm constantly reminding myself that beyond just a personal goal, this entire process was to prepare for my pageant. Mrs. California America is July 10 and 11. Will I be ready 30 days in advance? I hope so, but just don't know.

We shall see. I have until the end of May to register. Two weeks. We shall see.

How's your body? What happened to update photos?

Well, my body...hmmmmmmm. I have serious muscle. The challenge? I need to get the fat off. When I say fat off...I don't mean...reduce the fat...I mean REMOVE the fat! I now understand why my pageant coaches tried to sway me from lower body weight lifting. I'm already pear shaped and now my behind is sticking out like you would not believe!! My hips have gone in tremendously but when I turn to the side.....WHOA NELLIE!!!

No lie...you could put a tablecloth on my behind and set for a romantic dinner for two. Lol!

Contrary to popular belief, it is not something that I have always had. It has gradually taken shape over the years as I've trained for pageants, but now it arrives 2-3 minutes AFTER I enter a room. Lol! It is absolutely insane!!! So to sum it up...I'm now in the 140's having dropped over 10 lbs and added Lord only knows how much muscle, but I don't know what to do with this new behind for a pageant. The only thing I do know is that I don't want to hit the judges in the face with it when I turn to leave.

To summarize...body shape...pending. I have no idea what the final outcome will be. All I know is that there's no turning back now....literally. :)

What happened to your new photos and update?

Why are you in my business? Oh right...I'm blogging.

Well...I don't know where the pictures are. I haven't seen them yet. We may need to reshoot. Either way, we'll do another assessment at the end of May. I hope to have pictures by then. If not, I'll just use my camera and make it work.

Well that's all for now folks. I'm in the editing stages of my book and traveling like a maniac in support of Domestic Violence awareness. I don't know how frequently I will post, but I do know that they will not be as long. :) I'm normally an all or nothing can kind of gal and that must change.

Stay tuned. :)

The Incredible Shrinking Bosom

Well, we've finally figured out my personal formula for fitness success. How do we know? The fat is finally coming off in inches AND pounds, I no longer crave bad foods to the point of binging and the biggest sign.... my bra is pretty much empty. sigh....


I wish that I could lay out a few steps that anyone could follow and receive the same results. But if there's one thing I've learned, it's that there has been NOTHING cookie cutter about this process. There is no one plan that works for everyone.


The tools to fat loss are easily identifiable and accessible in one form or another. However the motivation, determination and downright bull-doggedness (as Gran would say) to push through physical, mental and sometimes emotional roadblocks is an entirely different matter.


Without Lanell's guidance, patience and knowledge, there is no doubt in my mind that I would not have made the "shift". I was tempted regularly to go back to my old tricks of appetite suppressants, fat burners and marathon cardio. Lanell, who is a natural body building competitor (drug free) in her 50's and unbelievably cut, was a constant reminder that it can be done. She adapted weight training to accommodate my back and shoulder injuries until we found moves that worked. She helped me to work through my emotional blocks. And most importantly, she played with my diet until...EUREKA!!... we found the answer....the fat burning answer.

LOW CARB... Yes, I know. We've all heard it before. As a matter of fact I've been told to cut sugar and other simple carbs (white rice, flour, sugar, white potatoes etc..) by more professionals than I can remember. But ...come on... that's incredibly difficult.... or is it?

It wasn't until I attended a weekend natural body building competition workshop with Lanell, that I finally gained the motivation to give it a shot. I met other women in my age group who had tried different methods to lose the fat. One in particular swore that simple carbs hated her. She called it carb sensitivity. "Why not I thought" I've tried everything else. So... I cut my carbs down to 40 grams per day and those 40 grams were from vegetables only.

The first few days weren't as bad as I thought and once I passed day three, I no longer craved carbs of any kind. But more importantly the fat began to melt off. And to up the anti...I have a goiter on my thyroid which for the first time in 7 years has reduced in size. I have had no ill effects whatsoever. My body loves this way of eating. The absence of white rice, flour, sugar etc... has given me more energy than I've ever before. I honestly can't believe it.

There's a long scientific explanation of the mechanics of the low carb diet, but simply put...

In the absence of carbs, your body will resort to burning fat for fuel!!

The best part...the fat that is not used is flushed from the body and not stored, as opposed to carbs which if not burned are stored as fat. SHUT UP!!!

Now of course, I will gradually increase my carb intake with with fruit, and complex carbs (whole grains etc..) rather than simple carbs. And the occasional treat is a must. But for me, this is a new way of eating that seems to agree with my body. It's actually the original, cave man diet. :) Eating only whole unprocessed foods and meat. If you think about it, it's the natural way that we were meant to nourish the human body.


My only regret is that I've lost my super power. As a special treat, I took my 3 youngest children and niece for donuts before school. They were each allowed to purchase two. They were so cute with their individual little bags. We sat together at a booth and as they began to eat, I realized two things. Number one... I was not the least bit interested in the overly sweet pastry....and number two.... I didn't hear a thing. No voices enticing me to have a little bite.

I'll miss the entertaining chatter. But I'd rather have the rock solid bod. :)

We have measurements and a photoshoot scheduled for Tuesday March, 30. Stay tuned.

Month 3 Results - It's true!!!!!!

Well, it's true what they say...
1. Muscle weighs more than fat, weight may stay flat or go up
2. When gaining muscle, inches show progress not pounds
3. Being fit is a lifestyle change not a diet

At month three (the end of December) I weighed in at 155 lbs. Only 3 pounds from my starting weight of 158 pounds. Needless to say, I was frustrated beyond words. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?

If you recall, I ballooned up during Thanksgiving week weighing in at a whopping 165 pounds. Now that might not seem like much considering my height, (5ft 11in) but I normally require several weeks of poor eating or a pregnancy to get into the 160's. So I'm a bit frightened. I know that the average person gains 5-7 pounds during Thanksgiving…. But I only ate badly for TWO DAYS!!!!! And I can guarantee you that I didn’t eat 28,000 extra calories which is what I would have needed to gain 8 pounds. Granted, some of the weight was water, but it is clear that my body is reacting differently to sugar and fat since I’ve taken on this challenge.

So for better or for worse, there's no turning back now.

On the upside, if we count the Holiday binge, (don't judge me) my GROSS loss is actually 10 pounds!!! At this juncture, I’ll take any positives I can find. :)

I also have seen incredible changes in my body. I’m nowhere near bodybuilder status, but can see and feel the muscle taking shape. Over the holidays, I was wrapping gifts with my sister Heather and in mid-sentence I stopped talking. Why?…I noticed cuts in my arm and shoulder. I stopped to marvel at the newly formed muscle and rubbed my hand over it. For the first time, I could see and feel the ridges in my solid shoulders and arm. Nice!!!! You should have seen her face! Priceless. Lol!

It may seem vain, but I understand why bodybuilders spend so much time in the mirror. They are literally marveling at their work. You eat clean, exercise with intense weight lifting and cardio and BAM!!!….the body is sculpted. It’s amazing. Now when I stop increasing muscle and the fat comes off…..oh boy…! That will be something to see.

I must add however, that my husband and kids are tired of being invited to the show. It goes a little something like this…

“Hey, you guys want to go to a show?”

“What show?”

I pull back my shirt, flex my arms…

“The GUN SHOW!!!!! FIRE POWER!!!!”

Lol!! I think it’s hilarious. But obviously I’ve had to get more creative. My new entries are….

“I know what we can do today. Let’s go to the GUN SHOW!!!”
“Are you bored? We can go to the GUN SHOW!!!”
“What’s for dinner? Why don’t we eat at the GUN SHOW!!!

I’ve got a million of ‘em…

I should probably take a moment to share that I have not missed any workouts and have been diligent about my cardio. I most often double the required time which may be a problem. (45 minutes to 90 minutes) Lanell is concerned that when it comes time to lean out for the figure competition (drop fat) my body won’t be able to release without 3+ hours of cardio per day. Now I finally understand why I end up needing so much cardio before a pageant. My body is immune to it. I LOVE cardio. Step Classes, elliptical machine, you name it. I can run up to 2 hours at a time with no problem then come back for more in the evening.

Lanell has reduced me to 30 minutes of interval cardio every other day. That’s a warm up in my world!!!! My interval sessions = alternating high speed and/or resistance for 1 minute, low speed and/or resistance 2 minutes. This month, I reversed the segments by performing intensely for 2 minutes alternating 1 minute low cardio.

I don’t know how I’m going to deal. All of my coping mechanisms have been restricted. No wine, no sugar, no comfort food AND now little to no cardio?!!?? Watch out!!! You won’t want to be around me for long. :) I suppose I still have my weight training and Bikram yoga which burns 600 + calories per session and leaves me with a sense of calm that only heavy cardio or meditation can bring. We shall see.

Stats below.

So to summarize, I've lost 3 pounds, 3.2 inches and 2.4% body fat. I'm losing fat and building muscle.

I wonder what I would have weighed had I not had the Thanksgiving setback? Sigh…. Oh well.

Woops, almost forgot my new years resolution to be kind to myself. :)

I ROCK!!! Lol!! And so does my Trainer!!! Bring on the competition!!!

My Training Regimen

Weight Training....sigh....

Lanell believes that I will grow to love weight training. Not likely. In our session yesterday, I was forced to break out my old Lamaze breathing to make it through. I was literally transported back to the birth of my fourth child, who is now 7!!

Picture it...fourth child. I got this. I know what I need and when I need it. No more natural child birth for me. I was determined that my last birthing experience would be comfortable and pleasant. I imagined myself crying with joy as I held this precious little baby in my arms only seconds after birth rather than frustrated, wounded and frightened out of my mind as with my first three pregnancies.

1. My first, was 48 hours of labor with no pain killers and she was a premie; and just over 3lbs ...very scary.
2. My second was also natural, but I hemorraged and had an emergency c-section. She was full term but also under 4 lbs. Again, scary.
3. The third came fast and furious with no time for an epidural and he had the umbilical cord around his neck causing his heart rate to drop. ugh...

So....This time, I was ready. I was showered, shampooed and shining. The baby was healthy. I knew my body and when I was ready to deliver.

I get to the hospital. First thing out of my mouth.... I want my epidural now.

"Maam, you're not ready for an epidural. As a matter of fact, you aren't ready to deliver."

"This is my fourth child," I pleaded "Trust me when I say this will be fast and I need to get checked in and an epidural administered QUICKLY."

So what do you think happened?

She sent me home.

Well, she tried to send me home. I have never been so furious. My husband also knew better, so we stayed on hospital grounds. Within 30 minutes the contractions were unbearably hard and close together. We convince the nurse to check me again. She had the nerve to roll her eyes.

Then, just as I was getting onto the bed, my water breaks. She checks me and sure enough I'm almost fully dilated.

"Damn Damn Damn!!!"

"I need my epidural now!!"

"Maam it's too late for an epidural."

As God is my witness, if I had not been in so much pain, I might have actually wrung that woman's neck. In any case, the next 20-30 minutes were a blurr of pain, breathing and cries for mercy. Eventually, I left my body and spent the last 10 minutes or so viewing the process from my imaginary hot tub while sipping on a Manhattan.

Yes, I left my body. I continued the breathing and was conscious of my sister's coaching and my husband rubbing the tennis ball on my lower back. I could also hear everything that was happening around me. Especially the nurses commenting in amazement that I had not had a break between contractions for over 15 minutes.

Most consecutive contractions with no relief is not a record that I would choose to break with no epidural.

In case you haven't noticed, you have not seen any :), lol! or lolcc!

Why?

Because it's NOT funny.

Okay, that made me laugh. lol!

Needless to say, I came back to my body to push. Bryan II was born. Love him of course, but darn it. That was not cool. Each time it's taken me a good 5-10 minutes to get that "awwwwwwhhhh, my baby" feeling. I look, see that the baby is healthy then I just need a moment to myself. lol!

Weight training, for me, is just like having a baby without an epidural. There's the Lamaze breathing, the praying and begging for mercy. And there isn't even the immediate reward of a precious little baby. And the worst part? Can't leave the body. I've tried. Gotta focus or I'll hurt myself.

Upside: In the long run, you'll feel good, live longer and get the body you want in ... what...6 months to a year... sigh...

Sidebar: You must be wondering if I can ever blog without telling a story. I'm beginning to think not. :)


BACK TO TRAINING!!!!


My training regimen consists of 4 days of weight training and 6 days of cardio.

WEIGHTS

I work out three days with Lanell and one day on my own. We start with a 10-15 minute cardio warm up and then alternate as follows.

• Back
• Legs
• Arms
• Shoulders
• Legs
• Chest

Each day includes core. It may be actual ab work or exercises using the stability ball, bosu or other tools/positions to engage the core. Although she denies it, my legs are also worked each time as well.

Who does rowing in a squat position and calls it back?! It's legs too! Ask my poor sore behind!!

Again, NOT funny.

CARDIO

Cardio consists of 45 minutes on the elliptical machine at level 7 as follows

• 5 minute warm up
• 30 minutes (1 minute at 7mph or greater 2 minutes at 4mph or under)
• 5 minute cool down

STRETCHING

Of course stretching is mandatory after each session in the morning and at night due to my injuries. I also attend Bikram yoga classes 2-4 days per week. Goal is 4. Not only does it burn major calories while stretching and toning the body, but it is an additional stress reliever and considered an "active" meditation. LOVE IT!!!

Okay, there you are. Welcome to my world. :)

BREAKING NEWS.... It's not what I'm eating...It's WHAT'S EATING ME!!

Happy New Year!


Long time no post...I know...I know.... I have had quite the Holiday Season. :)


I've actually experienced a bit of a block when it came to blogging. Each time I sat down to write, it just didn't feel authentic due to the challenges I was facing. As much as I wanted this to be a light, fun, not saving the world kind of forum... I had a period that made it impossible to continue without sharing a bit of unpleasant information that had directly impacted my progress.


Now that I've had an opportunity to digest my holiday happenings, I feel it's time to let it out. So brace yourself...here we go...


As you may know, I am in the process of writing a book which is an expansion of the motivational speech that I deliver. I vary which life stories I include based upon the audience, but take the listener through my humorous pageantry journey with the insecurities that I faced punctuated by the unfortunate circumstances of my childhood and young adulthood. It's quite a roller coaster ride with audiences rolling with laughter, then crying, laughing, crying...they are emotionally spent by the end of the 20-40 minutes...as am I.


Now giving snippets of rough patches in ones life is one thing. To spend hours upon hours, recreating a scene designed to transport the reader into the story is another. Now don't get me wrong, I've been working through many of these issues my entire life. However, it wasn't until I began competing in pageants that I truly got to the heart of many blockages. In order to be a successful competitor, (In my opinion) you must be the best you that you can be. In order to be the best you that you can be, you must first know who you are. In order to know who you are, you must take a good long look at what drives you, your hopes and dreams, what makes you unique and why you are worthy to represent married women of our State and hopefully, our Nation.


I once believed that the swimsuit was the toughest part of competition. I had no idea what lurked behind that fear until I addressed it head on. Then came feelings of unworthiness in evening gown and so on.... I spent years working through issues that I thought were dealt with. Little did I know, I had only brushed the surface. Long story short, over the last 5 or so years, I have learned to not only accept my circumstances and acknowledge how I grew because of them, but to forgive those who played a part.


Sidebar: Without going into too much detail.... background includes, growing up watching mother beaten, being orhpaned at 12, living in poverty in a middle class community, being the only African American in my elementary school and one of 3 in my high school which resulted in being told consistently that I would be nothing. (You'd have thought the N word was my name had you not known me.) Being sexually assaulted which resulted in a pregnancy at 16, the child was lost due to contracting mono from the perpetrator. Marrying an abuser..... The list goes on....


I no longer hold any animosity toward anyone and refused to allow my circumstances to negatively impact who I would become. The experiences actually helped to shape a witty (laugh instead of cry), driven (I'll show you), empathetic (I've been there) and capable (look at what I can do) woman. So you're probably wondering what happened over the holidays to sidetrack such a champion? :)


It's extremely difficult to get into the deep writing during scheduled periods of time and then head to a meeting or help the kids with homework. :) It doesn't quite work that way. So, I attended a writer's weekend with Best Selling Author, Editor and all-around writing goddess Jennifer Sander in Tahoe the weekend before Thanksgiving. All went well. I completed quite a bit of work and was on a mission to get the book completed by the end of the year.


Again, you're probably wondering....What happened!!!!


Okay, I get home. I'm feeling funky. As time passes I'm feeling even worse. Tired, listless, unmotivated. Then, my body began to react. I was not focused and twisted my ankle during a step class. Old abuse injuries (Jaw and shoulder) began to flair up. My back injury kicked in as well. I couldn't figure out what was wrong. Then, Thanksgiving hit and I gained 8 pounds over 2-3 days. I ate and ate and ate and then I ate some more.


By the time I saw Lanell for training, I had dropped a few pounds but was still 5 or so up.

I explained what I had been feeling and she pulled out good old Bob. (pictured below during a happer session) Needless to say, Bob took the beating of his existence that day which ended with me sobbing uncontrollably on Lanell's shoulder.

Now don't expect that your trainer will provide this service. Counselor is normally not a part of the job. :) Although there is a bit of psychology involved in why people hold onto weight. Fortunately for me, Lanell was intuitive enough to know I needed to let it out and provided a safe environment for me to do so.

After a good cry and then laugh, Lanell cracked a few funnies to lighten the mood, I had released enough to move forward. The next few weeks, I worked hard to drop the remaining pounds before Christmas but knew I needed to figure out what had caused the episode.


Then it hit me. I had forgiven everyone who had ever so much as looked at me funny, but I hadn't forgiving the most important person.... Me.


I blamed myself, for not standing up for my mother when she was abused, for not being a better sister to my younger siblings, for not fighting harder when I was assaulted, for not getting better grades in school, for marrying an abuser, for allowing myself to be beaten and mistreated and misused and so on. I never gave myself a break. Nothing was ever good enough. If I had been stronger, smarter....better.....perhaps my circumstances would have been different.


So where on earth did all of this come from? I have no idea, but hopefully, it was the final piece in a very dysfunctional puzzle. The good news is, that once I realized what was "eating me" I had much better control over what I was eating. Now granted, I know that it's completely irrational to hold onto this self induced guilt, but it will take time to fully release it as it took time to forgive everyone else. The good news is, I've begun the process and feel lighter and happier than ever before. There is a sense of peace in my heart that I have never experienced. :) Let's hope it stays that way for a while... I could use a well deserved break!!!!


I hope that this has been helpful to some of you. It was not an easy thing to share in this forum, but I trust that if I was compelled to write it, someone needed to read it.


Again, Happy Happy Happy Happy New Year to All!!